I am an advocate of a non-combative way of life. This must have been influenced by my Buddhist readings about pain and suffering. According to Sylvia Boorstein : “A non-combative response, the Buddha taught, assures that pain does not cause suffering. And unclouded by the tension of struggle, the mind is able to assess clearly and respond wisely.”

But my experiences in life have taught me that indeed my journey in life entails struggles and hurdles but I do have choices. For example, I do have a choice about training my mind according to the teachings of Buddha.

I recall how one cousin went out of her way to offer me a teaching job in a prestigious college somewhere near Pearl Drive. This was shortly after I recovered from a severe clinical depression in the 90s.

I am glad I chose to teach at a nearby college years after I retired from a college in Makati. In a nearby college, I chose this time not to conform blindly. After all I was a senior citizen! Supposedly aged in wisdom!

I felt I was being “Who-I-Really-Am” according to Neale Walsch etc. Being a part-timer with no admin duties was very liberating The paper work was significantly much more than in my previous college. Some routine tasks outside the classroom were tedious but I was not devastated I CHOSE to do the tasks. I was not into Sylvia Boorstein yet but: “…unclouded by the tension of struggle, the mind is able to assess clearly and respond wisely.”

I was teaching because I liked it . It was a bonus that I experienced the energizing energy of a coed classroom.
What also helped was the fact that I was traveling more at around this time.
My worldview changed. I was transformed

Needless to say I felt better because our daughter lived in Singapore, then Australia and back to Singapore. Now I feel grand because our daughter lives in London; she is now a British citizen. I have felt and still feel she is far better off away from Manila.

   “Everyone must find his or her own way.” So wrote Alan Seale in “Soul Mission”. I have been working on my consciousness/spirituality for more than  years now. But every so often I realize I have yet to change my paradigms again.

“Spirit will not choose for us. We have been given the gift of free choice. Spirit will wait for s to exercise that right.

I am happy I realized that I have a role to play much more than what the “Secret” made me believe. Joe Vitale taught me about not blaming and about responsibility. I was into Ho’oponopono for years. Then Esther Hicks got me into manifesting. Sylvia Boorstein tamed my Monkey Mind.

George Sison and Tato Malay helped me to work on my consciousness. Of course it was Neale Walsch who initiated me into serious review of my ideas of God!

Alan Seale wrote: “Whether or not you are aware of it, you are constantly creating your future path by your thoughts words, attitudes, and actions.”

My goodness! This sounds like the dreaded “examination of conscience taught in school years ago. What nightly torment again. Not so. This is to be done not to condemn self but to celebrate the goodness of the day.

“Conscious awareness is expanding rapidly in our culture.” This is Alan Seale again. “More and more people are realizing that they must fit their life into their spirituality rather than trying to fit their spirituality into their life.”

I must admit the above is easier for my husband and for me because at our age the hormonal impulses have been tamed and our needs for material goods have been more than satisfied.

But spirituality still calls on us to make choices not only once daily but throughout the day. We assure you life is worth living provided you remain true to your soul’s pathway. My own, individual take to this is that it does not mean saying formula prayers 24 hours a day!!!!!

Cosmic joke!

I realize after many years I am no longer into personality development. This must have been triggered by a Facebook post classifying the Star War characters according to the Briggs and Mayers types. How I used to enjoy my being an ISTJ as a badge!!!!

I am influenced by Alan Seale’s Law of Mentalism. Also the Law of Correspondence.

I would like to believe Seale actually means materialization the way Gaylon Ferguson thinks.

“Walt Disney said: ‘If you can dream it, you can achieve it.’ Whatever you can develop fully within your imagination, you can also create in physical reality if you remain focused and are willing to take the necessary steps.” So wrote Alan Seale.

“Everything that exists in physical form was initially a thought in the unseen world…” (Alan Seale)

“Law of Mentalism- that everything begins as a mental concept. Creation is a process of taking an idea from the unseen reality into the seen, from the spiritual realm into the physical realm.”

“Through the Law of Correspondence, we understand that the idea will progress through the various stages of development on its way to physical – plane manifestation.”

I realize it does not matter  too much to me NOW whether or not I can walk again without a cane. This would be a bonus. But then again. Why waste the Law of Mentalisim and the Law of Correspondence!

What matters most Now is my spiritual journey. But the spiritual journey can materialize!!!!!

Extremely ridiculous but till recently I felt responsible for the happiness of our only daughter living in London as well as for the safety of my husband who at 70 still commutes to a university in Malabon and to another university in busy Mendiola. Ridiculous indeed!

Since 2014 till only recently in 2015 our daughter had challenges both at work and in her relationship. This was exacerbated by my interpretation of what Neale Walsch wrote about God not having a plan for me nor for anybody else. Where was divine providence which made me feel secure all these years? Is this adult Faith?

For around 2 months I had peace knowing our daughter was happy in a new relationship. Then she pushed my panic button when she texted she has resurrected her plan to go to Israel in February 2016. Goodness! Not at this time. I was still recovering from the Paris bombings. She was supposed to go to Paris the week after the bombings.

Then on Nov. 222015, my husband flew to Indonesia to lecture in an international conference. Days before, honestly, weeks before I was worried sick because of the “laglag bala” in our airports. Fantastic! To think I was seriously into consciousness change as taught by George Sison and Tato Malay.

Law of Attraction! When I needed to be secure, our daughter was out of reach. My Buddhist books would not allow me to castigate myself. Monkey mind was in full blast.

Sylvia Boorstein wrote: “My first response – in addition to the recognition of the pain – is not to be mad at it or myself for falling into it.”

Michael Tamura wrote: “Why is it so hard to let pain or a problem just be? Most often it’s because we’re afraid that if we don’t do something about it, we’ll
be stuck with it forever.”
Dec , 2015

What! I’m in a repeat pattern again! The daughter texted about her work challenges with her boss. She even thinks of resigning. But she is cheerful an confident unlike in the past. She has an array of higher bosses on her side.

Meantime my husband was at a Christmas party with his former students from Batangas – from grade school!

Yet my body reacted. I was in pain. (metaphysical) So I recalled Boorstein’s words: “… this isn’t what I wanted but this is what I got.” “The mind having given up the fight for another reality, is free to console, free to support the mind’s acceptance of the situation, free to allow space for new possibilities to come into view.”

I’m glad that I have comfortably accepted Who-I-Really-Am before this 2015 ends!

Dr Page wrote: “But where the leaders of the tribe or family…demand[ing] strict adherence to their rules leading to a fake sense of security.” This interpretation of the sacral chakra summarizes my worldview from birth till even the early years of my senior life. I was lulled into compliance in exchange for the comforts of false security.

I erroneously clung “onto old redundant sources of assurance most of which revolve around deeply engrained belief systems energized by fear.”

During my childhood, I rightly or wrongly perceived that one rated with the tribe when one had physical beauty. I was no beauty but I was smart. I don’t remember how I did it but I became a favorite in the neighborhood even in households without children of my age. Of course I practically lived with a neighbor, a year younger than I was. I eventually became a constant companion of an aunt 3 or more years older than I was. We were college classmates in two or three subjects.

The clan eventually recognized me because of my academic honors. Hind sight. Garnering academic honors from grade school to college was no big deal, the educational system being mostly rote memory during my time.

I did not realize till in the 90s that after the many years of compliance my indigenous self craved for more than just  obeying rules.

As expected part of the tribal rules was being a good Catholic. I think I even surpassed the standards of my uncles and aunts!

I can relate to much of what Dr Page wrote about the base chakra but I choose not to energize my woundedness.  I learned this from Caroline Myss years ago.