Lately, I have openly expressed to my husband my desire to live in a country where religion and religious practices don’t dominate daily life. I get agitated by the volatile conditions in the country where the Chief Justice herself does not honor the decision of the Supreme Court. The Ombudsman doesn’t respect the decision of the Supreme Court either. What is wrong with these 2 women???? All because they both claim that moral issues are above the legal issues. This can’t happen in Singapore!!!!

And the CBCP of the Church does not respect the decision of the Supreme Court either.

Last Nov 6 over lunch to celebrate the Nov 10 birthday of my husband I had a most enjoyable time feeling affirmed by Tato Malay and a former student of my husband , Marito Platon.

This week I get assurances from some authors on Facebook.

I can stay here in the country and find strength in like-minded friends. Our daughter, now a British citizen inspires me with how she has adjusted to living according to her INNER SELF!

Yesterday, my masseuse comforted me with her expansive worldview. Her 10 yrs experience in South Korea taught me how to deal with my worries and agitations related to narrow religious beliefs.

I can’t believe how much I have allowed my religious past to limit me.
My wise husband repeatedly reminds me that I can live in another country BUT my baggage of RELIGION and RELIGIOUS issues will still be with me.

So I am left to IMAGINE!

Dr Christine Page wrote:
“Imagine how it would feel to walk your own path with confidence, fully conscious and without fear.”
“Imagine as in the Tibetan vocabulary, there was no word for guilt but only an appreciation that we are personally accountable for the consequences of our actions.”

The Hawaiian tradition held by their elders teach something similar to what Dr Page has written. But I know the Filipinos living in Hawaii live according to the western code.

Dr Page continued:
“Imagine if your thoughts, words and actions are not judged on the basis of someone else’s dictates and experiences but on your own sense as to whether they resonate with a deeper truth within.”

“This may sound too radical (this was written in the 90s)  but this is the way of the future, where personal and inner MORALITY (that of the Chief Justice, that of the Ombudsman, that of the CBCP, that of the CHR etc) guide the individual’s system not man-made rules fully appreciative that there is nothing we do, say or think that doesn’t affect someone else, somewhere and EVENTUALLY RETURN TO US.”

My fave spiritual authors endorse LOVE as the solution to the problems of the universe. The gospels preach the message of love. Marianne Williamson, as introduced by a close friend in the 90s, has been endorsing love for more than 20 years. This failed to get her elected in the US congress.

Gill Edwards, Wayne Dyer, Rabbi Darfour, even Candace Pert are all dead. Michael Tamura, Esther Hicks, Matt Kahn etc continue to speak messages of love. Even Dr Christine Page makes love a requirement for manifesting your desires.

Some messages are downright mushy. Some are sentimental. Others are romantic. Some make me feel they don’t know what I am going through.

Some make the split between my Inner Child and my Higher Self almost unbearable.

Here comes Martha Beck with a practical insight: “If someone is hurting you, the first step is to create enough distance to feel safe. The time to love a burglar in the kitchen is when she is in prison, not when she is in the kitchen.”

Funny that Beck identified the burglar as a “she”.

Ultimately, I would rather go to Sylvia Boorstein who wrote:
“Sweetheart, you are in pain. Take a breath. Let’s pay attention to what is happening. Then we will figure out what to do next.”

P.M.H. Atwater: “We know from the study of chaos that this is true – that as order disintegrates into chaos, that very chaos gives birth to a new order.”

It is consoling to read the above at this time in the history of my country. A lot of people, especially the critics of the president, are scared because they can’t understand the president.

My husband and I and some of our friends are calm because of our spirituality, consciousness and soul work. We have read a lot about chaos, about consciousness about end times and about soul work as contrasted with personality development.

Atwater: One thing is for certain, the notion of end times quickly fades when you consider evolutionary ages and how cyclic they are.”

Alan Seale must understand the the scared critics of the president and those in the religiosity paradigm.
“The ego longs for structure that sets boundaries and makes the rules…”
BUT
“Spirit will not choose for us. we have been given the gift of free choice. Spirit will wait for us to exercise the right.”
“Everyone must find his or her own way.”
Sardello: “Fear arises in the soul when changes occur more rapidly than the soul capacities can keep up with.”

At any given moment, my life is defined by what is in my mind and in my heart. Of course soooooo many physical specifics add to the complications.

My cognitive therapy as well as my self-healing are guided by the fff:
“Mindfulness… recognizes the presence of theses confusing energies, recognizes their temporality and sees through them or around them so that good sense can prevail.”

Sylvia Boorstein has more: “There are all sorts of things I don’t like and in response to what I find unpleasant, I often feel dismayed or impatient or annoyed or disappointed or grieved.”
“What I try to do is keep from fighting with my experience, confusing and isolating itself in self-centered despair”

Some physical specifics that influence my self-healing :
Temperature
Time of the day/night
condition of my neck
condition of my head
condition of my shoulder blade
condition of my collarbone area ETC.

Some external stimulants/stimuli are:
Cellphone
Laptop
Internet
Facebook
MSN
my website
YouTube
deliveries
nearby church NOISE!!!!
condo noise
my plants
our trash ETC

My self-healing using cognitive therapy aims to present my experiences: “showing them … a simple, non-sectarian powerful method of learning to understand themselves and love God with all their hearts.”

I don’t intend to CONVINCE!

Included are my struggles against dogmas, limiting beliefs, my battles against authority and conformism, my always being classified as a marginal case due  to lab results with set norms.

With the help of Gill Edwards and Tato Malay I must have crossed over to a more expansive universe during the wee hours of August 27. I felt like I was Buddha under his Bo tree. So many thoughts crossed my mind. At first I struggled. Eventually my Sylvia Boorstein training helped me. I breathed deeply and just allowed the thoughts to go their way at times lingering as if to taunt me.

Goodness! My husband was flying home from Davo at 6:30 AM. It was almost 3AM and it was raining hard and the wind was blowing wildly. What if the flight were cancelled? What if the flight pushed through but couldn’t land in Manila because of poor visibility.

It did not help any that days before I read about the Cebu airport which has been privatized
having landing facilities even fr poor visibility but not the Manila airport. If the flight is diverted to Clark/Subic like a flight days before, that wold mean sooo many hours of extra waiting for me.

I remembered I told my husband I wanted to be a Bodhisattva, following no dogmas in my spiritual journey. I felt ashamed of my fears.

I went back to my deep breathing and fell asleep. I was awakened by a text message from our daughter in London. Eventually I was entertained by her messages on Facebook. Then I noticed the rains had stopped.

My husband came home from a delayed flight. I did not bother to tell him about my horrible passage over the bridge of woes.