At any given moment, my life is defined by what is in my mind and in my heart. Of course soooooo many physical specifics add to the complications.

My cognitive therapy as well as my self-healing are guided by the fff:
“Mindfulness… recognizes the presence of theses confusing energies, recognizes their temporality and sees through them or around them so that good sense can prevail.”

Sylvia Boorstein has more: “There are all sorts of things I don’t like and in response to what I find unpleasant, I often feel dismayed or impatient or annoyed or disappointed or grieved.”
“What I try to do is keep from fighting with my experience, confusing and isolating itself in self-centered despair”

Some physical specifics that influence my self-healing :
Temperature
Time of the day/night
condition of my neck
condition of my head
condition of my shoulder blade
condition of my collarbone area ETC.

Some external stimulants/stimuli are:
Cellphone
Laptop
Internet
Facebook
MSN
my website
YouTube
deliveries
nearby church NOISE!!!!
condo noise
my plants
our trash ETC

My self-healing using cognitive therapy aims to present my experiences: “showing them … a simple, non-sectarian powerful method of learning to understand themselves and love God with all their hearts.”

I don’t intend to CONVINCE!

Included are my struggles against dogmas, limiting beliefs, my battles against authority and conformism, my always being classified as a marginal case due  to lab results with set norms.

With the help of Gill Edwards and Tato Malay I must have crossed over to a more expansive universe during the wee hours of August 27. I felt like I was Buddha under his Bo tree. So many thoughts crossed my mind. At first I struggled. Eventually my Sylvia Boorstein training helped me. I breathed deeply and just allowed the thoughts to go their way at times lingering as if to taunt me.

Goodness! My husband was flying home from Davo at 6:30 AM. It was almost 3AM and it was raining hard and the wind was blowing wildly. What if the flight were cancelled? What if the flight pushed through but couldn’t land in Manila because of poor visibility.

It did not help any that days before I read about the Cebu airport which has been privatized
having landing facilities even fr poor visibility but not the Manila airport. If the flight is diverted to Clark/Subic like a flight days before, that wold mean sooo many hours of extra waiting for me.

I remembered I told my husband I wanted to be a Bodhisattva, following no dogmas in my spiritual journey. I felt ashamed of my fears.

I went back to my deep breathing and fell asleep. I was awakened by a text message from our daughter in London. Eventually I was entertained by her messages on Facebook. Then I noticed the rains had stopped.

My husband came home from a delayed flight. I did not bother to tell him about my horrible passage over the bridge of woes.

According to Sylvia Boorstein: ” I am committed to the idea that equanimity in the mind is the foundation of wisdom and that  wisdom sustains the mind’s capacity to respond with benevolence. Effort, concentration and mindfulness are the internal way in which the mind returns itself from being out of balance and lost in confusion to a condition of ease, clarity and wisdom.”

Since June 23, I have had all sorts of challenges. July 8. I had to deal with challenges from Emil. I mustered all I learned from Boorstein, Tamura, Edwards, Grabhorn etc. and slept soundly on a windy, stormy night.

July 9. I experienced a kind of clarity. I checked out a big carton box on top of a tall cabinet. Surprise! A duster that had been missing since March manifested. I judged our pick-up/deliver laundry service as being careless for losing my old but comfy duster.

This is not the first time I have been proved wrong. July 13 at night. Another challenge. Just when I was about to go to bed Emil asks for a volume of English Literature!

We could not locate it. At first I was agitated. Then I remembered my 4 guidelines. After a while I announced I would not even bother to look for the big book. After I surrendered I was at peace.

Boorstein wrote: “I have no idea whether this changed circumstance which I resent, is actually a good or bad thing in the long run. I can’t wait to see.”

July 17. I checked AGAIN the bottom shelf of a cabinet that I had checked at least twice in the past. There covered by a Chinese frame was the precious Literature book!