God gave me everything I would need before I decided to come into this world. It’s my unbelief that prevents me from accessing all the gifts. God is not to blame.

Until I am healed of my unbelief I will wait at the hallway (according to a Facebook post by a cousin of mine) until the door of FAITH is completely opened.

So, until the door of FAITH is completely opened, I will have to deal with my stomach problems, my allergies, my walking disability.

My environment does not help much but I am being guided on Facebook by: Neale Walsch, Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Gary Zukav. Of course I have a living model in my husband. Many times Tato Malay helps.

I am allergic to Facebook posts that smack of religion because of my personal history. My perception of religion as hypocrisy is due to my personal history. Ironically, I was once very religious.

Now I believe in God more than ever. I no longer blame anything nor anybody. Ho’oponopono has taught me well.

I have even stopped blaming my too analytical AIM studies, my former bosses who kept focusing on what could go wrong. I no longer blame my critical Literature studies and my analytical Literature teaching.

Ultimately, it is a matter of PERSONAL CHOICES.

The energy I bring to my protocols,
Should not entertain doubts.

For around 6 years now, because of Joe Vitale’s Ho’oponopono protocol, BLAMING has not been part of my worldview. This Year on my 75th I have been feeling the unpleasant side of aging, to say the least. I have had a lot of allergies. i have even developed lactose intolerance and can no longer enjoy Fettuccine, Carbonara etc. I have even stayed away from pancit, noodles, pizza.

I used to simply spray away my body aches and pains with the magical magnesium spray o Dr Jean Netario Cruz. But lately my skin smarts from the lotion- after 6 years!

I have moved away from the books of Sylvia Boorstein. I am now more comfortable with the Facebook posts of: Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Dr Bruce Lipton and sometimes Gary Zukav. After my recent hospitalization my threshold of pain has gone down even lower. Sometimes I get very impatient with my health challenges. It is getting harder to stay firm in my belief that my God is not a punishing God

Days ago, as if to taunt me Dr Lipton posted on Facebook : “When your mind says ‘Give up. Hope whispers: ‘Try one more time”.”

I am consoled with memories, PLEASANT ones of my recent hospitalization.
I had even more fun with my nurses than in 2016 when I had my hip surgery. I enjoyed the every 4hour ritual of BP and Blood sugar monitoring though I COMPLAINEd a lot, and how. I enjoyed with a female singing elevator operator. I felt secure with the burly wheelchair pusher who brought me to various high tech procedures.

Of course I like my doctors his time around. i realized i can no longer hold on to my claim of being my best doctor. The high tech procedures are far superior to the manual monitoring of my health day in and day out.

I guess I need to RESPOND to the challenges of aging and not to react, muh less to overreact!

Joseph, my nephew in the Us has written a book, available from Amazon’s. He has asked me to review the book.

I am honored but I have some misgivings. I knew Joseph when he was a baby in Iloilo city, Philippines. Since then I know him from Facebook.

My hope is that my many years of studying Louis Hay, Wayne Dyer, Dr Christine Page, Dr Lipton, Gary Zukav etc , all from the West , will help me to deal with cultural differences and do his book justice.

I am exultant that a former MBA student of ours, a Scandinavian has been proved wrong. I gushed in our class over Joseph getting a job on the spot by just talking to the boss of his dad. The Scandinavian righteously retorted that he won’t go any farther without a graduate school degree.

I just knew Joseph ad a high level of self-knowledge. I am no longer religious but I still believe a religious teaching : “made to the image and likeness of God”. To me Joseph is a manifestation of that.

The foreword of Boorstein’s book: “That’s Funny, You Don’t Look Buddhist” gives her intention for the book as: “Showing them a simple, non-sectarian, powerful method of learning to understand themselves and love God with all their hearts.”

I continue to write for my website to help me live my life-long purpose to understand myself and to love God with all my heart.

I believe in my divinity: “made to the image and likeness of God.” Although I learned this from the Grade School Catechism my experience with RELIGION has not supported this. At 75 I still struggle to listen to my spiritual self and not my religious self with all its limiting beliefs of fear and negativity.

Lately, I realize that Boorstein has been helping me to train my mind. But I wonder if listening to: Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, the Urban Shaman, Gary Zukov and most especially Dr Bruce Lipton will better move me healthwise. to where I was before my hip surgery.

Since April of this year, I have been plagued with allergies. Research shows I have a leaky gut and thus subject to a lot of ailments. This is difficult for an aging and fearful personality.

When I am tempted to give up, I bounce back thinking of how our daughter who hurdles challenges. Also my nephew who constantly defies fears inspires me. Then I deal with people in our building with less academic credentials but who are cruising through tremendous difficulties in life.