Having lied in a middle class community among relatives and friends  for thirty-five years, my psyche must have been shocked with conditions in a homey gated row of apartments in a crowded street parallel to Taft Avenue. However I must have gotten used to the culture eventually.

After more than a year living in a comfortable condo I had a mild stroke. I am now able to connect my mild stroke to my self-critical pains.

My years in my middle class environment before I got married suffused me with values from home school, church and society reeking wit a worldview that bordered on martyrdom.
“Sacrifice.”  “Try and try harder”. “Your body must be tamed”.

I failed to realize what Dr Page wrote: “Rules and laws are not necessarily laid down to make life difficult; they are facts.
“The first rules laid down are those provided by parents guardians, and teachers who essentially wish to offer protective guidance within the earthly environment.”
“Unfortunately, in many cases the rules flavored with the biases, the emotions and the experiences of the adviser…and therefore the rule does not follow a logical pattern.”

Living in our condo has given me a lot of liberation from my early limiting beliefs. I have enjoyed life. But deep down I must have been still the good, compliant girl of my past. I need to review what Dr Page wrote about being disloyal to the tribe in “Frontiers of Health”.