I was in high school when I awakened to the fact that my family was dysfunctional. The realization would not have such an impact on me had it not been for the persistent running commentaries of my mind. I know now that I had the Monkey Mind that early. This used to be called “self-talk”.

My elementary years even when my family was starting to deteriorate into disfunctionality had the vestiges of normalcy. School was work and play. Play on weekends was whole day events in the homes of classmates or school friends. The weekends during my high school

years were escapes from home problems. Fortunately, I never seemed to run out of invitations to homes of classmates or school friends.

The running mental commentaries would persist through my college years even through my years as a teacher. Understandably as a teacher I would rehearse my script for my classes. There was plenty of rehearsing and rehashing. I engaged in lots of turning over in my mind. But my monologues would sometimes not be about my classes. They would often involve “What ifs” which most likely didn’t happen.  Continue reading →