Until and unless one has a healthy ego one will not only be unable to lead or guide others, but one will also find oneself unable to make up one’s mind and thus become easy prey for others who have strong opinions and even stronger convictions.

The above words from Rabbi Belfour Brickner could very well explain why Emil and I remain friends after 35 years of marriage. The daily breakfast exchange can be bloody if either one of us feels inferior.

Each is armed with a doctorate, albeit Emil always jokes about the superiority of his conferring university to mine.  In the mornings usually the agreement or disagreement will hinge on something spiritual because we start the day with individual prayers.

Emil is mainstream; he uses a standard meditation book. I use a favorite-of-the-month book which inspires me. Usually Emil allows me to recite my litany of complaints against the Church. Once in a while when Emil makes negative comments about the Church I sort of panic and defend her! This is a reflection of where my heart truly is. This often surprises me! Recently, just before Emil left our condo he corrected me.

We were talking casually about his past. He told me that he was in a relationship with somebody other than a woman I know. He even offered to show me the picture of that woman with my mother-in-law. As though he could locate his old albums among his piles of books and papers!! I was amused. Thank God for a healthy ego. I reminded Emil that it was to our daughter that he narrated all his past; I have never been interested.