Category Archives: Social Conditioning

Social Conditioning

Forever a Teacher

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Although my teaching years have been officially ended, I want my last essay for this book to be about teaching. Later today I will be having lunch with my regular text mate from Iloilo, a former student of mine. Here are a few reasons for our bonding. We are both May born; our pragmatic philosophy about money is a strong factor for a meeting of minds. Our first born children (although I only have one against her six) belong to the same generation; we exchange notes on parenting. She is definitely a concerned parent as opposed to my now-hovering now-surrendered style. Neither of us is a fashion plate; we are minimalists! In my case I have stopped wearing jewelry except for my wristwatch for practicality. I don’t want to lose precious pieces again after I dropped one earring in Singapore. For a while I couldn’t forgive myself for losing the earring. After all I have been habitually checking on both ears. That year in 2007 I must have been so engrossed with the design of a Chinese-Vietnamese restaurant. I failed to check my earlobes before alighting from the cab. I suspect I must have brushed off one earring to struggle out of the seatbelt. I always get entangled. Continue reading →

Intuition

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   I achieved goals but I was often too exhausted to enjoy what I had done. I looked for what was next, never what was right in front of me. It was no fun. That was Maria Nemeth. The above statement echoed what Emil used to remind me when I was in depression. “You solve one problem and immediately look for another.”

I should have learned: observe mental states without identification with them, without going  into the urgently felt need to express them, but also just as important without repressing them and instead merely getting to know them as they are. In other words, just observe my thoughts.

But what a waste of time. The urge was to fix things right away.

Apparently nothing is happening in my life since I don’t have a paying job anymore. This was how I was made to understand life; I still subscribed to the dictum of: “by the sweat of thy brow”.

It is as if I haven’t learned the updated version of the Eden story. It is back in my childhood years when I was struggling with my dysfunctional family. Memories that need healing. Continue reading →

Delightful Experiences

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The mental work that has helped me to health consists partly of my daily crossword puzzles. I have stayed away from the hospital since 1996 but I started solving puzzles on a daily basis only in 2004 before Emil and I went to Sydney for the first time. My puzzles have moved me out of numerous obsessive – compulsive situations. Some compulsions lasted for months then tapered to weeks and then to days. Very often now I can snap out of compulsive attacks after rounds of mental exercises which gently coax me into mindfulness.

The crossword puzzles have also taught me an important lesson: to consider other points of view even when I was almost sure of my opinion. The clues to the answers very often can be interpreted in more ways than one. For example what I have in mind may be an answer under the category of music but the correct answer may be from an entirely different  classification. I was dismayed when the clue was “newsworthy exile of 1986” and  the answer was  “Marcos”.  I didn’t expect the Philippines would be featured in the Los Angeles Times puzzle. Eventually Lea Salonga was also featured. The answers are always final; I can only accept the answers. Continue reading →