It may be because of my scoliosis.I meditate better when my back is flat in bed than when I sit according to the traditional meditation posture. I don’t have to waste time dealing with aches and other distracting stimuli that call attention to body care.

Many meditation teachers will not approve of my chosen posture for meditation but it has worked for me. My mind is disciplined enough not to fall asleep. Rather late but thank god for the realization that:
“We are taught by unspoken rules that govern our society that the way to acceptance is to blend with others, to fit in, to mold ourselves to the pattern of normality.”

“This is necessary to establish stability in a group.”

Now that I have formally retired from the academe I know :”It is hard emotional work to be ourselves when we need to defy conventional rules to be who we honestly are.” This is from “The Artist’s Way”

My meditation scheme works for me because of what I have learned from the “Urban Shaman” that : “Inspiration and solutions to problems that may be unrelated to what you have are focusing on often break through. This is also principally an effect of relaxation plus previous intent or desire.”

The basic self governs he physical body, our emotions and the subconscious mind. It isn’t capable of rational thought. It simply does what it has been programmed to do by nature, by childhood messages and by adult learning.

Since it is childlike, the basic self is also impressed by authority – so it can be wise to read books or go to lectures which confirm what we already know, to reassure our basic self that our ideas are not so crazy after all. These paragraphs are from “Stepping into the Magic” by Gill Edwards.

The paragraphs must explain why at age 70 I find it hard to act on new beliefs especially when it concerns ethical behavior or just plain behavior. I need to draw inspiration and strength from my favorite authors like: Dr Christine Page, Michael Tamura, Sylvia Boorstein, Martha Beck, Mike Dooley, etc. I need their authority so I can give myself permission to change.

The basic self is more impressed by actions than by thoughts. By using our physical body, by taking action, we build a bridge between the inner and outer worlds – and open ourselves to change. Whatever you wish to do, it is crucial to take action – however small, however symbolic – to tell your basic self that you’re serious about it.

This is still from Gill Edwards
For my customized self care, I had to actually try several versions of a no slt, no fat diet to drastically lower ny blood pressure after another trip to the emergency room last January. I discovered how palatable my meals could be with apple cider vinegar. My health issues have made me creative and inventive.

“Chutzpah is  the Yiddish word for nerve… It takes real chutzpah for anyone to try to outline for another the components of a well-reasoned faith. faith is such a personal matter that what one person says can, at best only partially satisfy (or dissatisfy) another!”  These are precious words from Rabbi Belfour Brickner.

He continued:” Any faith worthy of a personal commitment needs to begin with a belief in oneself… This aphorism comes very close to saying it all. Until and unless one has a healthy ego, one will not only be unable to lead or guide others, but one will also be unable to make up one’s own mind and thus become easy prey for others who have strong opinions and even stronger convictions.”

Although I am approaching 71 years, coming from an educational system where conformity, obedience, and compliance were considered premium, my ego is still undergoing reconstructive rehab. In another essay I wrote why I rely heavily on my favorite authors to integrate my new beliefs and values.

For a meaningful life Victor Frankel had this to say: “The answer lay in the way each individual thought of himself or herself.”

“As long as they found some meaning in their day-to-day existence, as long as they looked forward to some small survival goal, they had a better chance of making it than those who lived only in the past.”

“His faith was pinioned on a sense of self: I am worthwhile. I have something to live for.”

According to Rabbi Brickner: “Frankel lived by a quotation from the philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche: He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how.”

The early first-century rabbis, according to Brickner interpreted the biblical phrase “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself to mean You shall love your neighbor, he is yourself.

” When you think or speak thoughts of thanks what you’re really doing is thinking thoughts of having received or having been blessed.  When you think thoughts of having received those thoughts seek to come back to you experientially.    Your thoughts craft circumstances in which you will physically receive whatever you were giving thanks for, so that you can then experience that gratitude you previously sent out.”

In my life I am made to feel I am living out a story from my fairy-tale days when the character receives blessings after fulfilling conditions laid out by a powerful, external benign force. It may be a fairy godmother, a king, a wealthy donor etc. But I must contribute to the process via my thoughts and feelings.

There seems to be a universal law that: “will give you reason to experientially  feel the gratitude you first put out crafting occurrences and surprises that you may never even thought about but that were exactly the kinds of things that would manifest the feeling that you did think about.”

Infinite Possibilities by Dooley graphically explains manifestation thus: [Gratitude] works because of the thoughts and feelings it generates which can only be made physical by becoming the appropriate things and events of your own life.”

“You Are the Answer” by Tamura says: “Life gives moment by moment, step by step.”

The same interpretation on how original sin has tainted the whole of human nature can be used to explain how my consciousness, cleared of fears and anxieties can cleanse the fears and anxieties of all who are in my consciousness. Perhaps, the process is similar to the phenomenon of the hundredth monkey described by Dr. Christine Page.

According to Joe Vitale in “Zero Limits” all I have to do is apply the Ho’oponopono  healing strategy. I have observed that as the energy of my fears and anxieties is neutralized such are also neutralized in everybody in my sphere of consciousness.

The experience and belief of Haleakala Hew Len, teacher of Joe Vitale is that “as he cleans himself” through the Ho’oponopono litany, “the world gets clean because he is the world. “All outside of him is projection and illusion.”                  “If you create your own reality, then yu created all you see, even the parts you don’t like”.

In my reality, I used the Ho’oponopono strategy to help our daughter who has become so anxious about my health. When she doesn’t get a message from me or when she doesn’t get notes from me via Facebook, she wonders whether I went to the emergency room again.

This is bad. I cannot allow our daughter to waste her energy on unnecessary monkey mind business. According to Laura Bushnell: ” you must release the problem and allow yourself to receive the solution”.

“Infinite Possibilities” has this to say : Whenever you want change, come from a place of desire and strength not of need and incompleteness, so that the ensuing journey can feel like one of adventure and choice.”