Because of my “rollercoaster” reality I have had to go back to my old notes. My fave authors do not favor going to the past but I believe I can be helped by reviewing what guided me in the past to move me forward.
1996

Linda Georgian:

Since thought is the root of all your mental and physical blocks, repetition of your positive affirmations will somehow replace the negatives and attract good to you.

2016
James Ebner:

Whatever we can say about God that will be real for us has to grow out of the person’s experience.

We can expect to experience the true God only when we get in touch with ourselves.

We may be so conditioned by our past, we may perceive through so many filters, that we may scarcely know what actually we ourselves really think and feel. so that when contemporary writers urge us to explore the religious side of our experience, we may not be reading our depths but mainly remembering words we were told and which we only take as ours. however, to be sensitive to this problem is already to be solving it.

2016
Neale Walsch:

This shift from supplication to application can be miraculous. these are not affirmations. These are confirmations.

An affirmation seeks to produce an outcome or an experience.

A confirmation announces that the outcome has already been produced.

You would understand that these powers and abilities give you collaborative control over the exterior elements of your individual and collective life and complete control over the interior elements which means that you have the total ability to create your own reality because your reality has nothing to do with producing the exterior elements of your life and everything to do with how you respond to the elements that have been produced.

2016
Alan Seale:

The ego longs for structures that set boundaries and make the rules for us.

Spirit will not choose for us. we have been given the gift of free choice. Spirit will wait for us to exercise the right.

Every one must find his or her own way.

Alan Seale has the best description of what my spiritual path is. It is such a contrast to what I was taught in RELIGION hence my difficulties.

If you can dream it, you can achieve it. Whatever you can develop FULLY within your imagination, you can also create in physical reality if you remain focused and are willing to take the necessary steps.

Living in rollercoaster times is no fun at all. Going back with Sylvia Boorstein does not seem to be enough for me. So i went back to my old notes.

January 2017
M. Tamura: “When crises arise in your life, they aren’t due to something inherently wrong in you.”

“Although you may take them personally, they just happen and you are involved in them according to he way you respond to [them]. This is not a laughing matter for me.

Hicks: “You have to feel good NOW, no matter what the conditions are or the conditions cannot improve.”

“You must make peace so to speak with where you are to allow yourself to move to a place you would rather be.”

HOW IRONICAL

Lately, I have yet another realization, a significant one for me. I am definitely an unfinished product as yet. I am still evolving.

I am back with Sylvia Boorstein whom I consider the mildest of my favorite models. I have realized how useful her suggestion regarding a CLEAR MIND and an OPEN HEART.

True. I live in roller coaster times. So does our daughter whom I want to help from being overwhelmed. BEEN THERE. DONE THAT.

Lately, with health issues cropping from nowhere I felt pushed to near despair. I was forced to review old guidelines from Sylvia Boorstein. Her Buddhist/Jewish background assured me I won’t get any airy-fairy help , the way I would from those leaning towards the “Law of Attraction” paradigm.

I have realized that with a CLEAR MIND I can sift through the INTERNET info and choose what applies to me. As usual, I don’t belong to the published categories. I have always been a marginal case in mainstream medicines.

CLEAR MIND has to partner with an OPEN HEART. I have tried two types of different massages: Cupping and hot compress.

I appreciate what both have done to my body.

I thank God that i am as yet not a finished product! I still have many dreams. I still dream of living in a country where religion does not determine significantly the lives of people. Why not live according to spiritual values where each one follows his pathway back to Source.

I dream of being able to walk comfortably even with a cane . i would like to take long walk along tree-lined streets the way i did in Sydney in the early 2000s. where cars really stop to allow pedestrians, young or old to cross.

I would like to walk leisurely to the supermarket, alone, and back passing by friendly shops including a quaint bookstore which lends eyeglasses! This was Sydney in the early 2000s.

I dream of being able to meet personally Serge Kahili King and discuss the 7 principles of Urban Shamanism.

I dream …

I don’t want anybody to go through the agony I went through lately. For around 4 or 5 days I experienced horrible ocular migraines. I have not been experiencing such since last October. But then it lasted for only a few minutes.

For all my consciousness work I have been doing. For all the essays about my being my best doctor. For all the essays i have been writing about living my own pathway and not believing that this is a valley of tears. and to think that my last essay was on TRANSMUTATION of PAIN.

I felt my whole world was crashing on me. The very first two days were excruciating since I refuse to take painkillers because my internet research deemed all painkillers as a no no to hypertensives. and indeed my BP rose even without the painkillers.

I noticed my PAIN TRANSMUTATION protocol was blessing our daughter in Mumbai. Emil was getting more and more projects and teaching loads. My plants were growing wild with fertilizers produced by my TRANSMUTING MIND. But why was I myself so challenged health-wise?

I was tempted to drop the whole spirituality pathway via my non religious worldview, the learnings from Dr Lipton, Gary Zukov, Mike Dooley , Neale Walsch etc.

But then when I went to Facebook I was greeted by posts of Neale Walsch and Mike Dooley which spoke to me. I was affirmed.

So I am seeing an eye doctor soonest.

So I am back to listening and watching tapes like: “Try Yourself/ Miracle Happens within a minute get good news (There are at least 3 versions).