My husband commented on the way I drop/slash things. I have been drastically dropping foods from my diet. So disciplined, apparently. I think it’s more than that. I think there’s nothing Zen about the procedures.

i believe I have to be kinder to myself. I think substitution or compensation may be in order. I have to be compassionate.

“Every simple act we do has the potential of causing pain and every single thing we do has consequences that echo way beyond what we can imagine.”

“It doesn’t mean we should not act. It means we should act carefully.” (Sylvia Boorstein)

After an outpouring of blessings that started on Easter Sunday, I had a spate of ocular migraine last april 7.

I am now writing about annoyances that emanate from my cellphone, my laptop and deliveries.

In a way, I am disappointed with myself for reacting to the annoyances.
Sylvia Boorstein teaches: “We could condition our mind to such spacious CLARITY that our experience would come and go and the mind would remain essentially tranquil.”

Also: “Grumbling gets the mind fogged down in the weariness of its own story.”

Of course I forgot to have a CLEAR MIND and OPEN HEART!
“I knew the tendency to struggle in the mind comes from taking one’s own story PERSONALLY rather than seeing it as part of the great unfolding cosmic drama.”

How shocking. My worldview as formed by the Urban Shamanism takes everything personally. Self-esteem is key. But it’s a matter of perspective.

Sylvia Borstein’s interpretation of the noble truths addresses my fears and anxieties.

There are many bashers in YouTube of Serge Kahili King’s 7 principles of “Urban Shamanism”. But I choose to beguided by them.

It does not matter to me that King’s shamanism is not considered pure Polynisian; it works for me because I am metropolitan.

I go by the 7th principle:”Effectiveness is the measure of truth.” In the age of disruption and uncertainty the principles of Urban Shamanism work for me.

PRINCIPLE no 2 There are no limits. This bolsters my belief that when I chose to come to this life, I was given everything I would need to follow my pathway and eventually return to Source.

I still struggle to wean myself off DOGMAS. I still struggle to free myself from many limiting fears that emanated from dogmas learned from childhood.

I daily strive to live in joy via a ” clear mind and an open heart.” Thanks to Sylvia Boorstein.

I composed this essay before March 21 when my husband had a scary wake-up call healthwise.

After I decided to truly allow my husband to follow his own pathway with a “clear mind and an open heart” (Sylvia Boorstein) I realized his hectic schedules no longer upset me enough to engulf me in fears.

I believe the example of our son-in-law who was a shining example of Faith, cultural intelligence etc during our March 5 to 9 reunion in Singapore, also the lifestyles of my nephew and niece from Iloilo have given me a new worldview.

Also I realized i have my “suki” who cooks my meals according to specs and even delivers the meals personally because I complained about the behavior of his transient helpers.

Then all of a sudden a research assistant provides a solution to my husband’s transport issues.

Many Facebook friends help me deal with my many issues. YouTube has an ample supply of videos for health and for housekeeping.

YouTube has expanded my range of music favorites although I still stick within the piano repertoire.

Of course our only daughter is a major reason for living. She has always been generous to us, to me especially. We don’t want to abuse her generosity and live within our means. She meets up with us once a year in Singapore because I can no longer handle the long flight to and from London. She would like to meet up again this september but I pry she will be able to wait till 2019.

I m Living in an “era of disruptions and uncertainty”. (Peter Bodin Global CEO of Grant Thornton Int’l)

DISRUPTION AND UNCERTAINTY, two of my dreaded realities. I could have had another depression like in the 90s were it not for the lessons from Facebook posts especially of Dr Lipton, Mike Dooley, Gary Zukov, and life examples from friends like Tato Malay , of my nephew Andre and my niece Bingbing, associates of my husband like Munir and Dr Edralin.

“Insisting on details always limits you”. (Mike Dooley I get so upset when my plans for the day don’t materialize. I have specs even for my meals. I don’t care to relate with people who don’t let me be.

I congratulate myself for growing out of religious rituals. I almost can’t believe I did not relate March 19 to St Joseph.

“The messenger can only deliver the message those who are in a vibrational match to the message. So don’t stress yourself out saying things to people who can’t hear you.”( Dr Lipton)

Vibrational Match! I have realized my vibrations are far too unique. It is frustrating not to be heard.

I thank God my husband is patient. Often I know I appear to be sending conflicting messages. But I think I am consistent all the time. It’s just that I live according to the 7 principles of urban shamanism which is understood only by a few. I ive in a customized/sanitized world of my own.

I have no reason to complain; I have all that I need. The sources of my chllenges are related to the following:
!. “Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”
2. “Never trust your fears they don’t know your strength.”
3. “Being challenged is inevitable in life; being defeated is optional.”
I can almost hear Sylvia Boorstein telling me to work for a CLEAR MIND and an OPEN HEART.