Dedicated to Paolo Christian Gutierrez
Haiku:
A San Juan De Dios graduate
finding God
in home life, also at work.
A haiku for a former student who requested such
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Category Archives: Family Articles
Christmas Peace
According to Gaylon Ferguson: “The root of materialism is the sense that we are, in some fundamental way, inadequate. We feel, secretly, that there is something basic missing. Something is originally wrong with us – and the obvious solution to this inner lack is to get something , someone or something, from outside to fill this inner gap.”
This Christmas I found myself alone but not lonely in our condo. A former student with whom I was supposed to have lunch was suddenly hospitalized. My husband was with my cousins for a traditional Christmas reunion.
I love being alone without being lonely, I cgerished the freedom from having to negotiate the Christmas traffic. I felt I did not need anything. I could order food any time I wanted from a favorite diner downstairs. After all I have lost all craving for rich food shortly after I had a mild stroke in May 2012.
I had completed two crossword puzzles. I had checked my news feeds on Facebook. I replied to all text messages. I finished the day’s housework. I was inspired to read pages from my spiritual books;we went to an anticipated Mass on the 24th.
What a grand Christmas gift; I wasn’t anxious over our daughter in the USA with her boyfriend nor over my husband out to lunch with my cousins.
Materialism??
Stories Re-Written and Re-Told
In our self-talk we interpret life according to the stories we tell ourselves. For example, when we read about statistics about our ailments, we tend to include ourselves among those who won’t survive. Dr. Christine Page is saddened by this.
The shaman’s advice would be for us to think of ourselves as among the few that will be healed, no matter how slim the chances are, unless of course the dire medical pronouncement was made specifically for you. Find a detail in the prognosis that will make you an exception. Recreate your condition with a new vocabulary. Empower yourself towards health by telling a different story. Read about inspiring people like Louis Hay. Visit Facebook accounts of countless brave people battling health challenges and winning them.
This is the process I used to recover after a mild stroke. In the hospital during my therapy, I was warned about a specific window during which I would be able to walk again. Once I let slip the opportunity, I wouldn’t be able to walk again. Naturally I got scared. A former student of mine, now a medical practitioner banished my fears about the deadline. I told myself a different story.
A year after I can walk, albeit with a cane because my doctor doesn’t want me to risk bone damage in case I fall. With continued exercise I believe I can soon say goodbye to my cane.
Wait!
I dislike busy bodies. I am a certified introvert but notice how unmindful I have been. Our daughter was running for honors in high school. Once I heard her complaining about how difficult her math homework was. Quietly I went to ask help from our engineer neighbor.
Our daughter was horrified: Mom, I was just venting. I didn’t ask for help.
On another occasion, I excitedly outlined an educational exercise for a young relative for her toddler. I enthusiastically explained each step. No reaction. Since then she has not communicated.
Recently, a former student sounded depressed when she replied to an email. I was overly concerned. I texted two of her closest friends in the province. I would have alerted her nearest of kin in Manila had I known a number. The next day, I learned she was her usual bubbly self. She even went to the community market to buy organic vegetables.
The moral is. Stay as an introvert and wait to be asked for help!
Unworthiness
Our daughter based in London now, worked in Singapore more than two years during which time we would visit the country somtimes 3 times a year. Recently, my husband and I met up with her in Singapore.
I was particularly horrified when our taxi stopped on a street meters away from the hotel. To make matters worse it was showering. men at work were all over the place. Our daughter booked the hotel from London not knowing that the construction for the MRT isolated the hotel from the rest of civilized Singapore!
I knew the hotel didn’t offer breakfast. I recalled from our previous visits that Kopitiam was nearby. So I didn’t mind. But the no breakfast arrangement should have been an omen – reminiscent of our miserable Hongkong hotel years back.
To save what our daughter paid for, we endured two days in the inelegant hotel. On the 3rd day realizing our daughter would fly back to London in the evening and leave us behind, I adamantly insisted we forfeit one day and book ourselves at our favorite hotel.
I am still processing my world view. At 71 I still try to keep up with what is happening in the world. I maintain a website where I rite essays on family, social conditioning, and health. I have long conceded that I have much more to learn from our daughter than she can learn from me. Definitely, I can’t pass on to her generational secrets about cooking and household tips because I haven’t been good at housekeeping.
How could our daughter based in London who has travelled practically all over the world except the Holy Land ( this is my edge over my husband and daughter) be fooled by an Internet write-up about a hotel in Singapore? False claims and malicious omissions.
In spite of my many criticisms about religion, I still believe God can bring about good from dismal situation. My husband gathered our family in prayer and asked that we search our hearts for deeper issues that may have attracted the hotel disaster.
I admitted my deep issue of unworthiness of God’s bounty. This is significant for me because for a number of years I have been professing abundance and prosperity.
As I type this essay,I thank God for healing me of my muscular pains especially on my right arm and shoulder. A Shaman’s belief about muscular pains and anger may explain the above phenomenon.