I was happy with my health protocols for months. After an enjoyable time at the mall recently, all of a sudden I had an attack of ocular migraine. AGAIN. This time I was calm, very calm but irritated. In fact I wanted to defy the migraine and stay longer in the mall. But I decided to be prudent and to go home.

On the way home, I tried a bizarre protocol i learned from the YouTube. i bit into a pencil I luckily brought in my bag. (I keep a pencil ready in my bag. I have several in our condo. Two pieces I keep with me in bed).

In the lobby of our building, I nonchalantly chatted with those who greeted me. By then I had taken the pencil off my mouth.

Back in our condo, I calmly unpacked what we bought. I even placed in hangers the two blouses bought by my husband for our trip to Singapore.

Then I sat down and concentrated on the pencil cure. it worked. AGAIN.
So I remain open to the 7th Principle of Urban Shamanism. There is always another way to do anything. But for now i will stick to he pencil cure.

Bente Hansen: “You are a spirit being having a human experience and are here to learn who you really are and what your purpose is.”

I am originally SPIRIT. I became human to explore what it is to be made to the image and likeness of God. I don’t believe i was banished into this “Valley of tears.”

This explains why according to “Urban Shaman” I have to live at different levels.
“Operating at second level (SPIRIT) in a primarily first level world (HUMAN) is not easy but is the key to a shaman’s success. What makes it especially challenging is that you also have to hold first level awareness so you can communicate with others at that level.”

I just realized while typing this essay how taxing my life has been this 2017. Staying on the second level of awareness when I am alone in the condo is no joke while my Monkey mind is busy thinking of our daughter and my husband very engaged in their respective first level world of work! I know I have committed to allowing both our daughter and my husband to follow their respective pathways. Sustaining the two levels of awareness has taken its toll on my body!

Joe Vitale prescribes the Ho’oponopono way: “Too many people,myself included, were visualizing and affirming in order to MANIPULATE the world. I now knew that isn’t necessary. You’re better off going with the flow while constantly cleaning (Ho’oponopono prayer) whatever comes up.”

I am thankful I don’t have to visualize nor affirm but cleaning the Ho’oponopono way is just as tedious. Reminds me of constant repetition of formula prayers of religion!

I am still predominantly living in my world of limiting beliefs. More than 60 years of living in fear, control, management principles, social conditioning are a heavy load to be cleansed by the Ho’oponopono.

I often catch myself sabotaging my new world view which is not more han 3 years old.

i believe my mild stroke in 2012 and my hip sugery of 2016 are manifestations of my limiting beliefs.

Martha Beck: “Its the emotional quality of grasping, clutching and neediness that bespeaks an underlying expectation of loss and deprivation that causes us to create nightmares in he world of form.”

Bente Hansen wrote something about the self knowing what is best for itself.

I know I must discern and make choices. Principle # 7 teaches that there is always another way of doing anything.

I have no intention of adopting again the one-size-fits-all pit fall of religion. My dogma is: There is definitely a God and He/She is on my side!

“Why we Make Mistakes” by Joseph T Hallinan: “A great many dy-to-day errors come about because we frame, or look at, an issue in the wrong way.”

For soooo long my life was framed by the productivity frame.
Margaret Wheatley: “All of u have been taught to make things happen in the physical world. We know what it takes: setting goals, rolling up our sleeves, putting pleasure aside, and working, working, working, working, working.”

“Then it helps if we work harder.”
My early senior years used wistful frames.
Joe Vitale: “Too many people, myself included, were visualizing and affirming, in order to manipulate the world.”

Joseph T. Hallinan: “…how we frame an issue can greatly influence our response to it.”
I have allowed Gill Edwards to influence me with her: “I believe that our first responsibility is to make our own lives work.”

I find Mike Dooley even more specific and relevant with his: “Our first responsibility in life is not to make the world a better place or to tend to those less fortunate bt to live up to our own high standards to act in faith that our dreams are meant to be and to maintain a tolerance and compassion for our own divine journey.”

After I turned 73, I got tired of manipulating the world. Joe Vitale: “too many people, myself included, were visualizing and affirming to manipulate the world.”

At 74 I love life but I have seen how anticipation, worries, control, grasping etc steal so much from cherishing he moments.

I choose to be wise like: Joe Vitale: “I now know that isn’t necessary (visualizing and affirming). You’re better off going in the flow while continually cleaning (Ho’oponopono) whatever comes up.

Martha Beck: “All of us have been taught to make things happen in the physical world. we know what it takes: setting goals, rolling up our sleeves, putting pleasure aside, and working, working, working, working, working.”
“Then it helps if we work harder.”

Joe Vitale: “I also know that agreeing to life is the great secret to happiness, not controlling life.”
“Too many people, myself included, were visualizing and affirming in order to manipulate the world.”
“I now know that isn’t necessary. You’re better off going with the flow while constantly cleaning whatever comes up.”

So I have to unlearn: ‘No pain, no gain.’

So I distrust 5yr development plans. I don’t even set goals for my daily life – not anymore.

Martha Beck: “As you drop your mental stories and watch your own feelings, you’ll notice that the gripping desperation of attachment is something you can release.”

Dr Christine Page: “Come to terms with the situation and to accept that this is ‘ the way things are’ and that such acceptance releases the individual to move forward even though the steps may be faltering at first.”

Gary Zukov: “But a multisensory human has a more expanded perception. A multisensory human sees all experience as potential to grow spiritually.”

To prevent my mind from awakening more memories/programs i have switched to the Spanish version of the Ho’oponopono prayer. I understand Spanish but I think in English so for the time being the Spanish version helps me.

Dr Christine Page wrote: “It is only when our soul is fully incarnate within the physical body and is expressed through the base chakra  that we reach full understanding of our place in the greater plan.”

When my BP  soared and my stomach ached awfully, I got nervous  initially. I resorted to lots of Magnesium, Cider vinegar and WAKI pen application. I took 2 tablets of my maintenance medicine but my BP was still high.

I refused to call my husband then attending a late Christmas party as January 6. I resolved  not  to go to the hospital. I stayed firm in my conviction that I am my best doctor. Instead I talked a lot to my prayer warriors among the dead.

When my husband came home, I made sure i acted normal. I applied an ointment he won at a raffle. I drank Turmeric. another prize from the raffle.

By then the Magnesium had caused me to have LBM. I simply endured my stomach pains.
In he morning, after i received ugly text messages from our daughter who had a splitting headache etc., I knew my psyche was out of kilter. It definitely knew the problems of our daughter AHEAD of the text messages. This has happened between my daughter and myself countless of times.

I reached some understanding of my place in the general plan. I was meant to remind our daughter of doing consciousness work; to believe in her divinity; to stop worrying about BREXIT; to stop pining fr alone time etc.

I also understand my role in the context of the pathway of my husband. Never to dwell in his spurts of bad temper and impatience. He had bouts lately. i forgot what our Daughter and i experienced many years back when we crossed him! The story has become part of the family lore!

My husband is by template a genial extrovert but he becomes an ogre when his pathway is crossed. only he knows when he has had enough. It may even be a petty incident.

Alan Seale wisely wrote: “Everyone must find his/her own path.”

Dr Page wrote: “External conditions and other people cannot prevent us reaching wholeness and expressing our Inner Being unless on some level they do so with our blessings.

I have more consciousness work to do. INDEED!