No! I have not changed yet. I still do not cook nor do I intend to do so this year. Lately, I have realized that the colorful posts on Facebook about fancy diets are not practical for a senior citizen like me. I tried the avocado diet but after eating two small avocados in one day, I had elevated blood pressure.

I don’t like veggies so I was thrilled when at  our favorite Chinese restaurant I Rediscovered the “Chicharo” beans of my high school days. Sadly, at our last consultation with our doctor I was told the beans have high uric acid content. Never mind if I took out the beans before eating the green bean. Relatedly, I learned from my doctor that ampalaya, one of the few tolerable vegetables for me is also high in uric acid.

Another discovery. Most of the “wonder concoctions” in capsule form bearing the disclaimer of  “No therapeutic value” don’t affect my hypertension nor my blood sugar issues. The money spent on them are better used elsewhere.

Broccoli sauteed in oyster sauce and with beef. This is so tasty but again to my dismay it caused elevated blood pressure not because of the broccoli, according to our doctor, but most probably due to the beef and even due to the oyster sauce.

Throughout the three months that I embarked on a no salt, no fat diet I made my meals decent through the use of Apple Cider Vinegar. I would even sip water with a spoonful of cider vinegar every so often. Another disappointment. The deprivation hardly had an effect on my hypertension. My rice intake instead caused elevated blood sugar levels.

To add to my misery, our doctor reminded me that I would live to a ripe old age but with hypertension and blood sugar issues as companions. Both my husband and doctor recommend home cooking instead of eating ordered and delivered food.My goodness!

By the way, If I do decide on home cooking, it will be my loving husband who will cook. I will do the wahing and cleaning. Make no mistake. My husband is a great cook but i just don’t want to deal with the collateral damage in the kitchen each time he cooks.

Recently, I initially literally choked on my breakfast when I saw my husband preparing a whole bowl of leafy vegetables (Kangkong) for me. What a big bowlful! To my surprise I consumed everything, even without cider vinegar.

One more good news. I discovered that eating two raw ( sab-a) bananas could bring me to the toilet in 30 minutes. This is a consolation because our doctor does not allow my favorite 3 in 1 coffee anymore. He told me my favorite type of coffee is not meant for senior citizens much less for somebody with blood sugar issues like me.

” But when we welcome what we want  most to avoid, we evoke not a story, not caught in the past, not some old image of ourselves.”

“We evoke divinity itself. And in doing so we can hold emptiness, old hurts, fear in our cupped hands and behold our missing hearts.” The quotations are from “Women, Food, God”

“Life is waiting for you to live it – your way. “Live” is a verb; it means to take action and that’s he point.” This is from Mike Dooley.

Walking with a cane since my mild stroke in May 2012 hasn’t given me permission to live a reclusive life. Once a week, though grudgingly I have to climb the stairs in the mall to go to mass at the chapel. On other days I have to climb the stairs to access the room where I get a massage from the blind. It’s as though the universe conspires to make me walk.

In the condo, I get my minimum daily exercise by throwing our trash into the garbage room and walking back to our unit. I usually experiment by varying the kind of steps I take to train my weak lft leg to carry the weight of my body.

The book “Urban Shaman” says: “Under the right stimulation – internal or external, mental or physical – the movement occurs and the memory is released.”

To explain: “experiential or learned memory is stored at one or more of many muscular levels.” I have regularly checked on my thoughts if only to discover what pay offs I may have stored in my memory for my not being able to walk normally. I keep on coaxing myself to reveal self sabotaging thoughts. More often now I do a lot of compassionate self-talk.

I have had acupuncture sessions which did me a lot of good. But then I developed high anxiety in anticipation of the insertion of at least 15 needles. I’m trying to convince myself to give acupuncture another chance.

“Life is waiting for you to live it – your way. “Live” is a verb; it means to take action and that’s he point.” This is from Mike Dooley.

Walking with a cane since my mild stroke in May 2012 hasn’t given me permission to live a reclusive life. Once a week, though grudgingly I have to climb the stairs in the mall to go to mass at the chapel. On other days I have to climb the stairs to access the room where I get a massage from the blind. It’s as though the universe conspires to make me walk.

In the condo, I get my minimum daily exercise by throwing our trash into the garbage room and walking back to our unit. I usually experiment by varying the kind of steps I take to train my weak lft leg to carry the weight of my body.

The book “Urban Shaman” says: “Under the right stimulation – internal or external, mental or physical – the movement occurs and the memory is released.”

To explain: “experiential or learned memory is stored at one or more of many muscular levels.” I have regularly checked on my thoughts if only to discover what pay offs I may have stored in my memory for my not being able to walk normally. I keep on coaxing myself to reveal self sabotaging thoughts. More often now I do a lot of compassionate self-talk.

I have had acupuncture sessions which did me a lot of good. But then I developed high anxiety in anticipation of the insertion of at least 15 needles. I’m trying to convince myself to give acupuncture another chance.

From “Artist’s Recovery” here is a prayer for Francis Gaspar: “God, please help me to open my eyes and my soul to the beautiful things and feelings that bring me the most joy.”

“Teach me to trust that I deserve joyfully and peacefully to be my creative self as an act of worship to you. Thanks for caring.”
I have no personal idea of how Francis teaches in the classroom but I have personally experienced how he conducted drumming sessions, at least twice. Francis develops leaders not followers.

I remember his injunction during the drumming sessions. “Don’t follow my beat. Drum your own way. Listen. Decice when to insert your beat.”

Developing leaders and not followers is no easy task. It would be easier to train others to conform, to obey,to follow. But Francis thinks out of the box.

In his training sessions and in his management consultancies I can imagine his struggles. I can imagine the tension between going the easy path by giving in to the participants who think echoing him or following his lead please him. Or should he challenge them to maximize what is already in them as personal gifts?

The temptation would be to earn his keep and to leave his students/participants choosing the easy way out. I suspect that sometimes Francis gets better response from his many pets especially from Bruce their family dog than from humanity. This means that Francis has a unique style of communication that even animals naturally understand but human beings deafened by social conditioning especially from verbal priorities cannot. Martha Beck has so much to tell Francis.

This is why an artist like Francis needs an expansive dimension: “to find his creative self by an act of worship.”

“That which is not expressed externally will through the Universal Law of Balance and Equilibrium need to be expressed internally to restore harmony.”

Dr. Christine Page continues: “Pain represents suppressed anger.”

The old pain on my upper right arm is back. I have been liberated from such pains for weeks. My no salt, no fat diet eliminated the pains. Could it be the cold – constricting my blood vessels. Or wait, days ago I consciously struggled against the unnecessary suffering of a relative who obviously wasn’t doing enough self- care. I was angry at what I perceived as martyrdom. Both our daughter and my husband warned me against fighting the battles of others. My blood pressure rose to its old level after weeks of new medicines, pineapple juice with reducol, and a no salt, no fat diet.

According to Joe Vitale: “You don’t purify the person, place or thing. You neutralize the energy you associate with that person,place or thing. So the first stage of Ho’oponopono is the purification of energy.”

“Not only does that energy get neutralized, it also gets released, so there’s a brand new state. Buddhists call it the void. The final step is that you allow the Divinity to come in and fill the void with Light.”