I grew up believing that this is a valley of tears: “By the sweat of thy brow….” A book entitled “Dare to Desire” said:
“Starting very early, life teaches all of us to ignore and distrust the deepest yearnings of our heart. Life instructs us to suppress our longings and live only in the external world where efficiency and performance are everything. We learn from parents and peers, at school, at work, and even from our spiritual mentors that our heart – the truest us – isn’t wanted.” While typing this I realize that it is not life itself that misinterpreted things; I would rather believe it was social conditioning. Those who lived mostly according to the flow of life seemed to have fared well.

Reviewing Dr Christine Page’s “Frontiers of Health” has made me realize how doomed we are into lives of diseases because most if not all diseases are due to pressure and tension – not being able to relax. The diastolic reading of the blood pressure is indicative of the individual’s condition at rest. Sadly this is not given as much attention as the systolic reading.

Growing up I hardly heard any attention given to relaxation except for the required daily siesta which was imposed as a kind of punishment for being too noisy around the home. We were 6 active children!

We enjoyed our games because it was natural for children to play even in our dysfunctional family. But adults would send us off to play to keep us out of their way, mostly.

In school and in church nobody spoke of relaxation. It was as though it was not good enough to bring us to heaven! I was old enough to experience Sundays (days of rest) when all the stores were closed. Malls eventually were built and Sundays became “Malling” days with Sunday Mass practically relegated to an option.

Anyhow, my Buddhist books written by Americans and Europeans introduced me into the Eastern way, so kind and compassionate compared to how I was raised and educated according to the Western style.

You can imagine how shocked I was as a senior citizen, to read Ryoho Okawa classifying my religion as one of the religions that isolate humans from God. In my younger years, I abided by the teaching to shun readings that may endanger my Faith. This explains my late awakening.

To go back to diseases make that dis-eases. In my world, the bigger context of dis-eases was the pervading scepter of original sin.I am happy to read many books now declaring that sickness is not a punishment from God though most likely it is a result of an abusive life style either by deprivation or excess.

Today we are lucky because we have choices. However some cynics would qualify that statement by saying, only if you have money.

No! I have not changed yet. I still do not cook nor do I intend to do so this year. Lately, I have realized that the colorful posts on Facebook about fancy diets are not practical for a senior citizen like me. I tried the avocado diet but after eating two small avocados in one day, I had elevated blood pressure.

I don’t like veggies so I was thrilled when at  our favorite Chinese restaurant I Rediscovered the “Chicharo” beans of my high school days. Sadly, at our last consultation with our doctor I was told the beans have high uric acid content. Never mind if I took out the beans before eating the green bean. Relatedly, I learned from my doctor that ampalaya, one of the few tolerable vegetables for me is also high in uric acid.

Another discovery. Most of the “wonder concoctions” in capsule form bearing the disclaimer of  “No therapeutic value” don’t affect my hypertension nor my blood sugar issues. The money spent on them are better used elsewhere.

Broccoli sauteed in oyster sauce and with beef. This is so tasty but again to my dismay it caused elevated blood pressure not because of the broccoli, according to our doctor, but most probably due to the beef and even due to the oyster sauce.

Throughout the three months that I embarked on a no salt, no fat diet I made my meals decent through the use of Apple Cider Vinegar. I would even sip water with a spoonful of cider vinegar every so often. Another disappointment. The deprivation hardly had an effect on my hypertension. My rice intake instead caused elevated blood sugar levels.

To add to my misery, our doctor reminded me that I would live to a ripe old age but with hypertension and blood sugar issues as companions. Both my husband and doctor recommend home cooking instead of eating ordered and delivered food.My goodness!

By the way, If I do decide on home cooking, it will be my loving husband who will cook. I will do the wahing and cleaning. Make no mistake. My husband is a great cook but i just don’t want to deal with the collateral damage in the kitchen each time he cooks.

Recently, I initially literally choked on my breakfast when I saw my husband preparing a whole bowl of leafy vegetables (Kangkong) for me. What a big bowlful! To my surprise I consumed everything, even without cider vinegar.

One more good news. I discovered that eating two raw ( sab-a) bananas could bring me to the toilet in 30 minutes. This is a consolation because our doctor does not allow my favorite 3 in 1 coffee anymore. He told me my favorite type of coffee is not meant for senior citizens much less for somebody with blood sugar issues like me.

” But when we welcome what we want  most to avoid, we evoke not a story, not caught in the past, not some old image of ourselves.”

“We evoke divinity itself. And in doing so we can hold emptiness, old hurts, fear in our cupped hands and behold our missing hearts.” The quotations are from “Women, Food, God”

“Life is waiting for you to live it – your way. “Live” is a verb; it means to take action and that’s he point.” This is from Mike Dooley.

Walking with a cane since my mild stroke in May 2012 hasn’t given me permission to live a reclusive life. Once a week, though grudgingly I have to climb the stairs in the mall to go to mass at the chapel. On other days I have to climb the stairs to access the room where I get a massage from the blind. It’s as though the universe conspires to make me walk.

In the condo, I get my minimum daily exercise by throwing our trash into the garbage room and walking back to our unit. I usually experiment by varying the kind of steps I take to train my weak lft leg to carry the weight of my body.

The book “Urban Shaman” says: “Under the right stimulation – internal or external, mental or physical – the movement occurs and the memory is released.”

To explain: “experiential or learned memory is stored at one or more of many muscular levels.” I have regularly checked on my thoughts if only to discover what pay offs I may have stored in my memory for my not being able to walk normally. I keep on coaxing myself to reveal self sabotaging thoughts. More often now I do a lot of compassionate self-talk.

I have had acupuncture sessions which did me a lot of good. But then I developed high anxiety in anticipation of the insertion of at least 15 needles. I’m trying to convince myself to give acupuncture another chance.

“Life is waiting for you to live it – your way. “Live” is a verb; it means to take action and that’s he point.” This is from Mike Dooley.

Walking with a cane since my mild stroke in May 2012 hasn’t given me permission to live a reclusive life. Once a week, though grudgingly I have to climb the stairs in the mall to go to mass at the chapel. On other days I have to climb the stairs to access the room where I get a massage from the blind. It’s as though the universe conspires to make me walk.

In the condo, I get my minimum daily exercise by throwing our trash into the garbage room and walking back to our unit. I usually experiment by varying the kind of steps I take to train my weak lft leg to carry the weight of my body.

The book “Urban Shaman” says: “Under the right stimulation – internal or external, mental or physical – the movement occurs and the memory is released.”

To explain: “experiential or learned memory is stored at one or more of many muscular levels.” I have regularly checked on my thoughts if only to discover what pay offs I may have stored in my memory for my not being able to walk normally. I keep on coaxing myself to reveal self sabotaging thoughts. More often now I do a lot of compassionate self-talk.

I have had acupuncture sessions which did me a lot of good. But then I developed high anxiety in anticipation of the insertion of at least 15 needles. I’m trying to convince myself to give acupuncture another chance.