My staple hospital food at six,
Again at seventy-five years.

I feel that I am being asked to embrace ALL of life not selective parts of it. Sometimes I feel that since MY God is not a punishing God I can simply cruise through life without suffering.

For some 2 years or so I seriously went by the guidance of the Buddha through the teachings of Sylvia Boorstein. I carefully differentiated PAIN from SUFFERING. Very hard indeed.

Now that I am guided by Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, Dr Bruce Lipton,Gary Zukav etc, the focus is different but it is inevitable that I deal with the issue of suffering.

I realize that suffering is to me, any situation where I don’t get what I expect or what I want. But is this objective SUFFERING?

I am more peaceful with Louise Hay whose focus is GRATITUDE. This is easy. I have much to be thankful for.

Wayne Dyer focuses on thoughts and words as related to manifestation of the reality we want.

Dr Lipton focuses on thoughts and words as related to our health and so do Hay and Dyer.

Hay also stresses the havoc our FEARS create in our lives.

Therefore, I think, the better way for me is to be proactive rather than just wait to react to whether or not I gt what I expect. after all I love planning and dreaming.

Many miscommunications,
in the hospital bring lots of PAIN.

“I know the tendency to struggle in the mind comes from taking one” own story personally rather than seeing it as part of the great unfolding of cosmic drama.”

It might as well be me speaking rather than Sylvia Boorstein. I just can’t detach myself from everything and anything happening around me.

Lately in one single day. All the elevators in our building didn’t function. We were scheduled to go to the mall that day; it was hard enough to squeeze in that mall trip into the ridiculously! super busy schedule of Emil.

Okay. i had lots of things to do in the condo. I never run out of things to do inside our condo and enjoy life as well. But food was a problem. All our sukis were not willing to use the stairs to go up to the 37th floor. AND to go back down.

Luckily we were able to convince a young waiter to deliver. Then I realized our landline still was not working because of a PLDT strike. Next problem. How to connect with the lobby.

Double whammy for me. We were set to go to the mall to ave my venerable cell phone repaired. It turned out my charger bought only last June wasn’t working. Maybe the real problem is my ancient phone causing the new charger to burn out fast.

“I can see how I get trapped in my stories (That is Boorstein speaking). I often don’t see., “How I struggle, how I suffer, how I wish i didn’t and how ultimately things change and resolve.”

“Acknowledging my own suffering in spite of the years of practice (More than 2 or 3 years in my case) and whatever wisdom or understanding I might have, makes me sensitive to what must be the enormous pain of all the people I’m sharing this planet with.”

How I wish I have the attitude of the people with less academic credentials in our building.

Through it all I am convinced that before I chose to enter into this life (Not banished) I received everything needed for this PERSONAL journey. This is the only DOGMA I believe in.

I marvel at how I have been inspired by the first wife of Frank Sinatra who died recently at age 101. From what I know she was not religious at all!

“If things are painful and we cannot change them we can at least be confident that our pain will not last forever.”

In my case it is not PAIN; it is excruciating itchiness of the skin when I eat something that is not acceptable to my leaky gut.

“Often it is the thought that pain will never end that makes it seem unbearable.” Even that thought that this won’t last forever does not seem to lessen the ordeal especially when I am in bed already.

“Right understanding means feeling terrible. remembering PAIN is finite, and taking some solace from that remembering.”

In time I will learn to accept the terrible feeling of itchiness and surrender to my current reality instead of struggling against the itchiness as guided by Sylvia Boorstein.