I wonder if my long years of teaching literary appreciation is an obstacle to enlightenment. I wonder if the heavy use of associative memory in literary analysis and interpretation is anathema to a “beginner’s mind” touted in meditation.

How can I let my mind go blank. A single stimulus can trigger my senses to conjure images from my fertile store of memories: colors, textures, sounds, tastes, temperatures, nuances etc. I have a lot of preconceived ideas. I have a hoard of impressions and insights.

Many times, a single word brings to memory another word, then a phrase. Then before I know it my mind recites a whole quotation. And I love it! My spirit lifts!

Dr Mann consoles me. I just have to focus on my breath. My mind doesn’t have to go blank. He continued that without objects of concentration the mind will just wander. Consciousness wouldn’t transcend the contents of the mind.

My goal is for my consciousness to merge with the divine. It can be in the form of light, sound, energy, feeling. It can focused on a sacred figure like Jesus, a saint or the guru. Isn’t this like using the associative mind after all?