I thought after I survived the challenges of March till the middle of May, the second half of the month of simply be cruising.

Not so. It is so tempting to just give up. i just want to be normal. Why bother to be special/different/

As if to taunt m, I keep hearing the instrumental version of “Hercules”. But I know the lyrics as sang by Lea Salonga. And I can’t give up!

Thursday morning. I woke up to a resolve not to pray that I be spared from challenges but rather to be able to face challenges with wise and compassionate responses as learned from Sylvia Boorstein.

Hours later, i discover my old, venerable, actually phone would not work. The button of the most used function won’t budge. and I had planned to spend a quiet day hibernating in our condo.

Of course i had to go to the mall to have the phone repaired. I would not be able to order my meals without my phone. My “suki” does not have a landline.

In the mall I met old friends and made a new one. But why did the universe have to
paralyze my phone to let me connect with people?

Life is mysterious?!

Buddha was a teacher. So was Jesus. But now that I have turned 75, i prefer the Buddha.
Jesus was more literary; he used a lot of symbols, irony, paradox and a lot of contradictions.
I have no patience for that type of teaching.

I prefer the Buddha as presented by Sylvia Boorstein. I like the practical and straight to the point style. I like that the Buddha according to Boorstein taught not to believe even the Buddha but to go by one’s experiences. I love this.

“The Second Noble Truth explains that suffering is what happens when we struggle with whatever our life experience is rather than accepting and opening to our experience with wise and compassionate responses.”

This is not martyrdom!

“Awareness, CLARITY, compassion, generosity, understanding – these are in the middle of everyone’s spiritual road.” Sylvia Boorstein

“Mind tangles and suffering are universal and the desire for happiness and the end of suffering is also universal.” Boorstein

“The Buddha’s maps for the journey to wisdom and happiness are attractive to many people because they are so SIMPLE.” Boorstein

I like the Buddha because he does not require belief in dogmas which I can’t understand but must accept in faith. Goodness. But i am 60% logical and only 40% Intuitive.

“Eventually the Buddha taught that it doesn’t make sense to upset ourselves about what is beyond our control. We don’t get a choice about what hand we are dealt in this life. The only choice we have is our ATTITUDE about the cards we hold and the finesse with which we play our hand.” Boorstein

“The people who didn’t understand him immediately needed to practise meditation and then they understood.” Boorstein

In my case, more than the meditation which i practiced for years, my meaningful challenges since March 2018 and especially this April 2018 have helped me to change my ATTITUDE.

Keep it SIMPLE.

Sylvia Boorstein:
“I don’t think it’s possible to love God with all your heart and not love everything else. Complete loving mandates and rejoices in complete acceptance.’

“METTA PRACTICE is concentration practice. The practitioner attempts to develop specially deepened concentration by steadfastly focusing attention on one single object.”

“One form of METTA PRACTICE uses a set of resolves, wishes for the well-being, safety, health and happiness of all beings.”

“The Metta PRACTITIONER attempts to keep resolves as the on going focus of attention.”

“Full METTA practice includes dedication to maintain a friendly noncombative attitude in all conditions.”

This is a challenge for me. Maintaining a friendly noncombative attitude in ALL CONDITIONS! My Goodness! I want to change conditions I don’t like. I want to protest. i want to complain. i usually struggle.

“METTA practice is transformative. Direct experience of the pleasure- indeed joy- of benevolence over time, loosens the habitual self-centered, defensive actions of the mind and strengthens the habit of friendly acceptance.”

Friendly acceptance. Surrender. These are real challenges to me. By template, I am a warrior.

“Responsive behavior – motivated by kindness- replaces reactive behavior. Benevolent, decisive, strong responses are possible. we become peaceful, passionate people.”

After months of challenges, now that i have turned 75 years old, I am settling with SYLVIA BOORSTEIN: “THE NATURAL MIND is free of tensions and doesn’t allow attachment to become entrenched. Preferences arise but they dissipate without creating problems when the mind is relaxed. Annoyance also arises but it doesn’t take up residence Fears and hurt feelings, doubts, and desires all come up in response to challenges and also disappointments but they do not upset basic CLARITY”

“All defilements are self-liberating in the great sphere of awareness.”
The bottom line is : “IT means all the nonsense falls out of your head when it’s screwed on straight.”

the greatest truth is: “Terrible things do happen. I do believe that fully mindful prayer , undistracted presence, establishes the capacity of the mind to see clearly and when necessary to surrender gracefully.”