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Understanding Myself

The foreword of Boorstein’s book: “That’s Funny, You Don’t Look Buddhist” gives her intention for the book as: “Showing them a simple, non-sectarian, powerful method of learning to understand themselves and love God with all their hearts.”

I continue to write for my website to help me live my life-long purpose to understand myself and to love God with all my heart.

I believe in my divinity: “made to the image and likeness of God.” Although I learned this from the Grade School Catechism my experience with RELIGION has not supported this. At 75 I still struggle to listen to my spiritual self and not my religious self with all its limiting beliefs of fear and negativity.

Lately, I realize that Boorstein has been helping me to train my mind. But I wonder if listening to: Louise Hay, Wayne Dyer, the Urban Shaman, Gary Zukov and most especially Dr Bruce Lipton will better move me healthwise. to where I was before my hip surgery.

Since April of this year, I have been plagued with allergies. Research shows I have a leaky gut and thus subject to a lot of ailments. This is difficult for an aging and fearful personality.

When I am tempted to give up, I bounce back thinking of how our daughter who hurdles challenges. Also my nephew who constantly defies fears inspires me. Then I deal with people in our building with less academic credentials but who are cruising through tremendous difficulties in life.

At 75 I Am Still in the Process

“I know the tendency to struggle in the mind comes from taking one” own story personally rather than seeing it as part of the great unfolding of cosmic drama.”

It might as well be me speaking rather than Sylvia Boorstein. I just can’t detach myself from everything and anything happening around me.

Lately in one single day. All the elevators in our building didn’t function. We were scheduled to go to the mall that day; it was hard enough to squeeze in that mall trip into the ridiculously! super busy schedule of Emil.

Okay. i had lots of things to do in the condo. I never run out of things to do inside our condo and enjoy life as well. But food was a problem. All our sukis were not willing to use the stairs to go up to the 37th floor. AND to go back down.

Luckily we were able to convince a young waiter to deliver. Then I realized our landline still was not working because of a PLDT strike. Next problem. How to connect with the lobby.

Double whammy for me. We were set to go to the mall to ave my venerable cell phone repaired. It turned out my charger bought only last June wasn’t working. Maybe the real problem is my ancient phone causing the new charger to burn out fast.

“I can see how I get trapped in my stories (That is Boorstein speaking). I often don’t see., “How I struggle, how I suffer, how I wish i didn’t and how ultimately things change and resolve.”

“Acknowledging my own suffering in spite of the years of practice (More than 2 or 3 years in my case) and whatever wisdom or understanding I might have, makes me sensitive to what must be the enormous pain of all the people I’m sharing this planet with.”

How I wish I have the attitude of the people with less academic credentials in our building.

Through it all I am convinced that before I chose to enter into this life (Not banished) I received everything needed for this PERSONAL journey. This is the only DOGMA I believe in.

I marvel at how I have been inspired by the first wife of Frank Sinatra who died recently at age 101. From what I know she was not religious at all!

My Current Reality

“If things are painful and we cannot change them we can at least be confident that our pain will not last forever.”

In my case it is not PAIN; it is excruciating itchiness of the skin when I eat something that is not acceptable to my leaky gut.

“Often it is the thought that pain will never end that makes it seem unbearable.” Even that thought that this won’t last forever does not seem to lessen the ordeal especially when I am in bed already.

“Right understanding means feeling terrible. remembering PAIN is finite, and taking some solace from that remembering.”

In time I will learn to accept the terrible feeling of itchiness and surrender to my current reality instead of struggling against the itchiness as guided by Sylvia Boorstein.