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Learned Psychology from Yesteryears

Learned Psychology from Yesteryears

I choose to respect the opinion of a Manila bishop about selfies and selfishness. I haven’t heard his homily neither have I read the text. I simply red the reactions of some angry adults on Facebook.

I choose to take the positive angle. I learned from my psychology class of long, long ago that people especially the young ith low self esteem are prone to bad behavior. They don’t respect themselves so how are they to be expected to respect others. They don’t value life so what will stop them from harming others.

The few selfies I have personally encountered on Facebook have been innocent enough,ego boosting. But I don’t refer to the likes of Miley Cyrus and Selena Gomez in the nude; these two had posts by Filipino adults.

Otherwise I find selfies amusing. It”s as though those who post them are not contented with looking at themselves in the mirror; they need an audience to react to their various poses.

From my psychology class and my observations’ breaking into media boosts the ego not only of the young but even the oldies. Speaking of psychology, in 2005 in Sydney I chanced on a book at Koorong Christian Bookstore. I don’t remember the exact title but it was enough to shock me. It read something like “Why Christians Don’t Believe in Psychology”.

It was so high up on the shelf I didn’t want to ask help from the only clerk in the store. I wish I had Checked out the book. This has been one of my very few regrets in life.

Wait!

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I dislike busy bodies. I am a certified introvert but notice how unmindful I have been. Our daughter was running for honors in high school. Once I heard her complaining about how difficult her math homework was. Quietly I went to ask help from our engineer neighbor.

Our daughter was horrified: Mom, I was just venting. I didn’t ask for help.
On another occasion, I excitedly outlined an educational exercise for a young relative for her toddler. I enthusiastically explained each step. No reaction. Since then she has not communicated.

Recently, a former student sounded depressed when she replied to an email. I was overly concerned. I texted two of her closest friends in the province. I would have alerted her nearest of kin in Manila had I known a number. The next day, I learned she was her usual bubbly self. She even went to the community market to buy organic vegetables.

The moral is. Stay as an introvert and wait to be asked for help!

Thoughts

thoughts

As I was growing up, the mantra from home, school and church was “think”. Whenever there was a problem, the injunction was “think”. When I got so sick in the 90s friends and relatives told me I got sick because I thought too much. Surprisingly my psychiatrist never echoed what everybody else said.

When my husband and I were team teaching at the graduate school in the 2000s we showed the fil “The Secret”. It was a hit with the students. I had a lot of misgivings about the film being too contrived and mechanical. Joe Vitale was one of the personalities in the film. I was not impressed at all with Vitale.

In 2009, in London I chanced upon Vitale’s book, “Zero Limits”. I saw this earlier at National Bookstore at Makati, Philippines but it did not interest me. The copy I bought in London enchanted me.

Vitale and Martha Beck have convinced me to neutralize my thoughts. Both authors do not sound airy-fairy even when they write about how to make your thoughts become a reality. Minutes ago from Facebook I got this from Alice in Wonderland Teatray:

There is no need to be trapped by your thinking,

You are more than your thoughts…

Feel….

Be free

Break through

Be Still

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Your personal paradigm reflects not only your culture, family and life experiences but the ways that you, because of your unique temperament, have interpreted and responded to your environment. Our openness to what is new affects our view of the world.

For years I have been going to Sunday Mass for compliance. I have been afraid of the wrath of God so I have been going to Sunday Mass. But Sunday Mass at Novena Church in Singapore this September was an experience. It was inconvenient to climb some steps with my cane to enter the church but the usherettes were so caring and they  warmed my heart.

The people waiting for Mass to start were reverent enough, so unlike the conditions in Manila churches. The giant screen on top of the altar made sure the people knew what was going on.

Even the homily was short enough. I must have been primed. When a second collection was announced I didn’t bristle.

Throughout the Mass I wasn’t inclined to recite my litany of petitions. I listened to the priest and the responses of the faithful. I felt God’s presence. “Be still and know that I am god.”

Unworthiness

unworthiness

Our daughter based in London now, worked in Singapore more than two years during which time we would visit the country somtimes 3 times a year. Recently, my husband and I met up with her in Singapore.

I was particularly horrified when our taxi stopped on a street meters away from the hotel. To make matters worse it was showering. men at work were all over the place. Our daughter booked the hotel from London not knowing that the construction for the MRT isolated the hotel from the rest of civilized Singapore!

I knew the hotel didn’t offer breakfast. I recalled from our previous visits that Kopitiam was nearby. So I didn’t mind. But the no breakfast arrangement should have been an omen – reminiscent of our miserable Hongkong hotel years back.

To save what our daughter paid for, we endured two days in the inelegant hotel. On the 3rd day realizing our daughter would fly back to London in the evening and leave us behind, I adamantly insisted we forfeit one day and book ourselves at our favorite hotel.

I am still processing my world view. At 71 I still try to keep up with what is happening in the world. I maintain a website where I rite essays on family, social conditioning, and health. I have long conceded that I have much more to learn from our daughter than she can learn from me. Definitely, I can’t pass on to her generational secrets about cooking and household tips because I haven’t been good at housekeeping.

How could our daughter based in London who has travelled practically all over the world except the Holy Land ( this is my edge over my husband and daughter) be fooled by an Internet write-up about a hotel in Singapore? False claims and malicious omissions.

In spite of my many criticisms about religion, I still believe God can bring about good from  dismal situation. My husband gathered our family in prayer and asked that we search our hearts for deeper issues that may have attracted the hotel disaster.

I admitted my deep issue of unworthiness of God’s bounty. This is significant for me because for a number of years I have been professing abundance and prosperity.

As I type this essay,I thank God for healing me of my muscular pains especially on my right arm and shoulder. A Shaman’s belief about muscular pains and anger may explain the above phenomenon.