Dr Page wrote: “But where the leaders of the tribe or family…demand[ing] strict adherence to their rules leading to a fake sense of security.” This interpretation of the sacral chakra summarizes my worldview from birth till even the early years of my senior life. I was lulled into compliance in exchange for the comforts of false security.

I erroneously clung “onto old redundant sources of assurance most of which revolve around deeply engrained belief systems energized by fear.”

During my childhood, I rightly or wrongly perceived that one rated with the tribe when one had physical beauty. I was no beauty but I was smart. I don’t remember how I did it but I became a favorite in the neighborhood even in households without children of my age. Of course I practically lived with a neighbor, a year younger than I was. I eventually became a constant companion of an aunt 3 or more years older than I was. We were college classmates in two or three subjects.

The clan eventually recognized me because of my academic honors. Hind sight. Garnering academic honors from grade school to college was no big deal, the educational system being mostly rote memory during my time.

I did not realize till in the 90s that after the many years of compliance my indigenous self craved for more than just  obeying rules.

As expected part of the tribal rules was being a good Catholic. I think I even surpassed the standards of my uncles and aunts!

I can relate to much of what Dr Page wrote about the base chakra but I choose not to energize my woundedness.  I learned this from Caroline Myss years ago.

Having lied in a middle class community among relatives and friends  for thirty-five years, my psyche must have been shocked with conditions in a homey gated row of apartments in a crowded street parallel to Taft Avenue. However I must have gotten used to the culture eventually.

After more than a year living in a comfortable condo I had a mild stroke. I am now able to connect my mild stroke to my self-critical pains.

My years in my middle class environment before I got married suffused me with values from home school, church and society reeking wit a worldview that bordered on martyrdom.
“Sacrifice.”  “Try and try harder”. “Your body must be tamed”.

I failed to realize what Dr Page wrote: “Rules and laws are not necessarily laid down to make life difficult; they are facts.
“The first rules laid down are those provided by parents guardians, and teachers who essentially wish to offer protective guidance within the earthly environment.”
“Unfortunately, in many cases the rules flavored with the biases, the emotions and the experiences of the adviser…and therefore the rule does not follow a logical pattern.”

Living in our condo has given me a lot of liberation from my early limiting beliefs. I have enjoyed life. But deep down I must have been still the good, compliant girl of my past. I need to review what Dr Page wrote about being disloyal to the tribe in “Frontiers of Health”.