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Changing Mind Sets

9d0d9d531f4f5ec96341980a02fe185eMuch of what I learned from home, school, church and society have become highly irrelevant if not harmful for a 73 yr old like me. I would be healthy and happy NOW had I lived in a culture that believed that God is within me, that God wants me happy and prosperous. For all that I have learned from Tato Malay, Dr Lipton etc I still find it difficult to make a leap of faith. It is difficult for me to discard my old beliefs even when I have seen how they limit me.

Sometimes, I wonder why or how I can have a spontaneous conversion like St Paul’s. I have had my own close wake-up calls: severe, clinical depression in the 90s, a mild stroke in 2012 and my fall last March 16.

Beliefs are part of the cognitive therapy I am using. Inspired by an Internet International  Yoga article about PSOAS muscles, I have been doing my originally crafted exercises. I have experienced some improvements in my standing and walking. I have gained more mobility and flexibility on my left thigh and leg.

The exercises together with the WAKI pen application for hours on end must have improved my blood circulation thereby easing the pains as what Dr John Sarno has written about.

Another improvement is that the WAKI pen must have removed blockages similar to what Fr Belita wrote about in “Release for Wellness”. The removal of blockages has been evidenced by farting. How unglamorous! But what a relief from stomach pains and even pains on the upper arms near the armpits.

My problem with mobility and flexibility may be related to what Dr Christine Page wrote about fear of going forward because of memories of the past and anxiety over the future.

As I discarded some limiting beliefs, I felt changes in my walking. I can’t say accurately which happened first- the change of beliefs or the improvements.

But I am sure that the improvement in my walking since June 27 happened after I discarded my limiting belief about not accepting visitors in our condo.

Several weeks ago I learned from the Internet that the Medical Society of America took “PAIN” off the list of vital signs. Accordingly I choose to write about Dr Jean Cruz’ magnesium spray not as a pain reliever but as an  aid to my blood circulation. With an improved circulation I no longer suffer from oxygen depletion therefore  my standing and walking have improved significantly.

What I Attracted

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The point of attraction is not the challenge/temptation/stimulus itself. It is the sacred moment when one reacts or responds to the challenge. Never before!

I learned this the hard way. I agonized for years after watching the documentary of “The Secret”. I stretched and stressed myself to perfection. (An impossibility)

During the day I would worry about Emil. At night I would worry about Julie Anne as she lived her day in London. I was on a 24 hour high-alert state. What with my fertile imagination! What if my worries attracted disasters to Emil and Anne?

I failed to realize that as I fought with my thoughts, the very struggle may have caused a version of ‘what you resist, persists’.

Lately, I finally understood what M. Tamura meant with:

“When crises arise in your life. they are not due to something inherently wrong with you.”
“Although you may take them personally, situations in your life don’t happen to you. They just happen. And you are involved in them according to the way you respond to [them]”

Reach out for a Solution

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This is the fourth and last guideline for my healthy and peaceful life style.
I believe the answers are already blowing in the wind. No need to rack my mind with analysis which end up like ruminations anyway. I believe the answers are at best within me. But I must be in the right disposition to hear. This means going to my finer self.
No need to do case studies. I am too old for such at 73. No need for analysis that leads to paralysis. I just have to allow the intuitive in me to bubble up.
There is no need to struggle. I learned from Lynn Grabhorn in “Beyond the Twelve Steps” that God wants me to have everything. All I need to do is access his gifts.
According to M.Tamura: “truth is within. It is never outside our being.”
He continued: Give power to your inner being, that’s always in touch with God. There is no standard ‘right’ or ‘better’ choice. Remember, the truth is in you, not in the choices. You can consult others for information and opinions , but only to find and validate your own intuitive knowing.”
“If we pollute our awareness with ignorance, indifference, resistance, attachment and powerlessness, we would not be able to express the omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence of divinity.”
“Life must be able to flow through our body unimpeded. We must truly let our light shine.”

Understanding the situation/s

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Experience has taught me how wrong many of my initial impressions are. My immediate reactions are usually resistant. I hardly give room for wisdom to guide me. I keep forgetting what I have learned from my favorite authors.
Now, I sometimes laugh at how foolish ,even arrogant, I have been. I have been angry, frustrated, disappointed, frightened etc at situations which I thought were specifically sent to punish me. Why me? Indeed, why me? among the millions, even billions in the universe.
What adds to my resentments is my wrong interpretation of the Law of Attraction. What did I do to merit this? Again, Why me? But it’s not about deserving. It’s a matching of vibrations.
Boorstein wrote: “Remember whatever is happening will change, and what you add to th situation is part of the change. Agonizing makes it worse.”
Laura Day wrote something similar: “Things are what they are. Ruminating won’t change them nor will it provide an insurance policy for avoiding pain in the future.”

Michael Tamura has written the most significant reminder for me: “when crises arise in your life, they aren’t due to something inherently wrong with you. Although you may take them personally, situations in your life don’t happen to you. They just happen and you are involved in them according to the way you respond to [them].”

The above certainly does not allow me to ask: “Why, me?”

Tamura also wrote: “If you are reaching deeper within yourself with compassion, perseverance, and forgiveness as you work toward the goal or victory then you learn and grow. And that makes you capable.”

Another nugget of wisdom from Tamura said: “The more we can disengage our awareness from reactive emotion and reclaim our neutrality, the better we can realign ourselves to our soul energies, awareness and purpose.”

Managing the Emotions

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What I wrote about the finer self was too idealistic. I believe the following from Boorstein is doable:
“…the natural mind …is free of tensions and doesn’t allow attachments to become entrenched. Preferences arise, but they dissipate without causing problems when the mind is relaxed. Annoyance also arises, but it doesn’t take up residence. Fears and hurts, feelings, doubts and desires, all come up in response to challenges and disappointments but they don’t linger; they don’t upset basic clarity.”
What a relief to read that challenges and disappointments are not only real but that they can be surmounted.
Specifically, to manage emotions Boorstein wrote: “Using concentration, settle the mind to ground it to some composure.” I am glad there is something from my school, church, home training that I can use: composure.
“Try to stay unconfused and connected to your own kindness.” This is hard for me. With my penchant for ruminations and my so-called management training and development courses, my natural bent for analysis is a burden.
“Remember, whatever is happening will change, and what you add to the situation is part of the change. Agonizing makes it worse.”
“You do the best you can, and then you live with what happens. What else can you do?”
“Tell yourself, Sweetheart, you are in pain. Relax. Take a breath. Let’ pay attention to what’s happening then we’ll figure  out what to do.”