To make sense of all the challenges I have encountered since June 23, not to mention those after my March 26 fall, I have decided to use Fr Belita’s discussion of shamanism as a kind of template.

I don’t pretend to be a scientist nor to be a scholar like my husband. At best, I write anecdotal records of real, personal experiences. With more than 32,000 readers for my website, I would like to believe I make some sense to at least a few.

I am emboldened by Dr Christine Page who wrote: “…it can be seen that inspirational thought i probably also not new but, because of time and space changes, will be approached in a different manner as if they are fresh. Any animating idea therefore will have been through several minds before reaching this point of evolution.”

My hope is that somebody more qualified than myself will pick up the observational data from my essays and come up with a research that could help those with :family, social conditioning and/or health issues.

I have chosen to examine my challenges  as signs of being initiated as a contemporary shaman. The signs are from Fr Belita’s “Release for Wellness”.

The first sign is ‘wandering and testing in the wilderness’. In my case, it is misplacing things and having wrong perceptions. I have been blinded so many times, not being able to see things even those in front of me. I have looked but couldn’t see.

I have been in the wilderness. Lost. I have been jolted out of past, comfortable paradigms. For example, I can no longer deal with Emil and Julie Anne with a soft, comfortable romantic love. I have had to shift to a kind of tough, detached love for the higher good of each of us.

For mobility and flexibility I even have to use new, originally crafted muscular movements especially for my left leg.

Another sign is ‘ordeal of hunger’. I can never allow myself to go hungry because of my blood sugar issue except for the much- dreaded fasting before a blood test. But I have been sticking to disciplined diets for health.

Still another sign is ‘sense deprivation’. Delayed gratification has been the rule for me for quite some time. Always waiting! To stop being judgmental, I often  have to suspend my thoughts and remind myself of Buddhist guidelines plus those from Rabbi Darfour and Michael Tamura.

Fr Belita has 2 or 3 more signs but I don’t have much to say about each. Instead I am happy to write about an effect: ‘personal sense of power and authority.’

The challenges have given me a kind of confidence. My inner knowing urges me to listen to my finer self even when I am fearful.