Extremely ridiculous but till recently I felt responsible for the happiness of our only daughter living in London as well as for the safety of my husband who at 70 still commutes to a university in Malabon and to another university in busy Mendiola. Ridiculous indeed!

Since 2014 till only recently in 2015 our daughter had challenges both at work and in her relationship. This was exacerbated by my interpretation of what Neale Walsch wrote about God not having a plan for me nor for anybody else. Where was divine providence which made me feel secure all these years? Is this adult Faith?

For around 2 months I had peace knowing our daughter was happy in a new relationship. Then she pushed my panic button when she texted she has resurrected her plan to go to Israel in February 2016. Goodness! Not at this time. I was still recovering from the Paris bombings. She was supposed to go to Paris the week after the bombings.

Then on Nov. 222015, my husband flew to Indonesia to lecture in an international conference. Days before, honestly, weeks before I was worried sick because of the “laglag bala” in our airports. Fantastic! To think I was seriously into consciousness change as taught by George Sison and Tato Malay.

Law of Attraction! When I needed to be secure, our daughter was out of reach. My Buddhist books would not allow me to castigate myself. Monkey mind was in full blast.

Sylvia Boorstein wrote: “My first response – in addition to the recognition of the pain – is not to be mad at it or myself for falling into it.”

Michael Tamura wrote: “Why is it so hard to let pain or a problem just be? Most often it’s because we’re afraid that if we don’t do something about it, we’ll
be stuck with it forever.”
Dec , 2015

What! I’m in a repeat pattern again! The daughter texted about her work challenges with her boss. She even thinks of resigning. But she is cheerful an confident unlike in the past. She has an array of higher bosses on her side.

Meantime my husband was at a Christmas party with his former students from Batangas – from grade school!

Yet my body reacted. I was in pain. (metaphysical) So I recalled Boorstein’s words: “… this isn’t what I wanted but this is what I got.” “The mind having given up the fight for another reality, is free to console, free to support the mind’s acceptance of the situation, free to allow space for new possibilities to come into view.”

I’m glad that I have comfortably accepted Who-I-Really-Am before this 2015 ends!